this is it, new diet

ok ive put this off for too long. The new diet. it has to be done. i was led in bed this morning after my morning prayer thinking some things got to give. ive gotta try and shift this weight. im OBESE, seriously Obese. yes im happy and not bothered what people think but i cant go on forever like this. 4 years ago i had gall stones and because i couldn't hardly eat anything i lost rather alot of weight and started to look and feel great, but ever since i had the gall bladder removal operation the weight started to creep back on as i started to gain a new love relationship with FOOD.

food is my enemy, its the addiction i cant kick. it would be ok if i could give it up forever but i still had to take some everyday. sometimes i think to myself, "get a grip, why do i let food rule me", its like i cant stop, literally . some days im like any other normal eater, normal meals, good healthy balance, and then other days oh god i cant stop. i want to just keep chewing and tasting things.

These days i feel sick so that makes me stop, but as a teenager i didnt stop and sometimes was physically sick.

from my earliest memories ive found food to be a great source of satisfaction. at the age of 8 i remember being offered a dietician but i refused. maybe if my mother had taken control and said yes we need your help maybe at that age i could of changed everything around.

But no, at 25 im still going strong and piling the pounds. well actually its stopped but it fluctuates between a few pounds but stays around an alarming weight, which i am not going to share, because no women should ever see the scales move round to that number .

i always seem to be on a diet. and in the past they do work as long as i dont get bored after the first month. I tend to stick to slimming world as its very free and easy and feel my body likes their healthy eating approach.

so this is what im gonna stick to. and share all my ups and downs in the process.

I hope to god, i stick to this.

god willing i will be thinner !