Gone off the rails

well what can i say.i have gone off the rails. i havent been wtaching anything i eat and have been eating everything and anything, i havent cared. But now i do! today i start again. insha allah. each night i lay in bed thinking about the day ive had. I think about what ive ate and why. Almost every night i go bed angry at myself and determined the next day to start again but i never did. but today is diffferent.

if i carry on eating the way i have for the last few weeks i will gain what took me 5 months to loose. so need to stop and get back on track.

i need to work on my cravings. i fine it hard to control them. they kill me, they own me. the urge when i want something is sickening. if its not in the house then i go and buy it. But i dont have any money at the moment. which is a good and bad thing. My husband is the wage earner so every week we go to the supermarket together and buy a weeks shopping. I doesnt normally contain foods that are high in fat or bad for you but if he wants crisps and biscuits occasionally then he will buy them.

we basically buy the essentials. milk, bread, rice, beans, tomatoes, cheese, eggs, oven chips, onions, yogurt. etc etc

But with only a limited amount of money we cant buy fruits and too many veggies. which i actually love.

But if i have money. i will buy a few extras. or go out during the week to buy snacks.

I have got to stop. well have no choice now.

Im getting weighed next week 23/2 , and i dont wanna get on the scales and be close to where i was when i started. if i can diet for 3 days i know it will make a difference.

ok so i have kick started the day off with breakfast which was

1 poached egg, baked beans, brown toast(no butter,dry, and half tin plum tomatoes.

maybe lunch i will have pasta meal(which is free on slimming world)

and maybe for dinner i will make a chunky soup with the potatoes and 1 leek i have.

xxx pray for me x